Chapter 12 August

10:08 AM

I always look back at those days, the days of our transformation. I observe the changing leaves of trees to count seasons and years. In the past, I counted infinity. Now I know there are limits for everybody. I enjoy the smells and tastes of the foods of the world. In my library, I look at the book’s subscription with care and put behind the books’ covers business cards with numbers of psychiatrists, therapists, and trust lines. I sometimes follow those who are on the verge of jumping from the bridge. I walk behind them like in the years of my vampirism, but this time to stop them at the last moment. My desire is far from sucking their last drop of blood. I switched the sides. I want to help the hopeless. I have limited time, but I have experience and I know what they feel.

I always look around when the smell of freshly cut flowers reaches my nostrils. I observe people, knowing that there could be more of us and not all were transformed back. From a villain, I can turn into a victim and be drained. I try to be cautious.

We watch vampire films with mixed feelings. They remind us of our past and the different lives we led. They evoke in us feelings of guilt and loss. We count days of us as humans. We wake up surprised to be alive and are still getting used to this weird sensation of hunger. Not for blood but for eggs, bread, meat, and fruit.

We are getting used to fear. It started slowly building itself in our psyche to grow and take over our decisions completely. Suddenly, we are afraid again. Of a serious disease, accident, job loss, poverty, homelessness. Of losing one of us forever. Of death.

Would we like to be transformed back? The price would be obvious, to give up our humanity. Is it worth it?

Now I enjoy myself as a human. If anything changes, I will let you know.

THE END